you’ve heard of the big bad wolf, now get ready for

straightboyfriend:

small good cat

thebootydiaries:

me: *looks out the window*

me: when will my online purchases arrive

hula-chili-soup:

is your heart supposed to pound for ten minutes straight after you answer one question in class

undomestication:

enemies with benefits

benafflecksgf:

you: I want a sugar daddy
me, an intellectual: i have a need for a glucose father

snout:

what are these “shower thoughts” everybody’s talking about, i dont think about anything in the shower, my mind is completely blank as i douse my body in scalding hot water and stare at a wall